One of my favorite things are the friends in life that you've had for years and years. After being around them for such a long time it sometimes seems that nothing you could ever do will mess up the bond you share with each other. I just hate when stuff gets in the way of that bond. You sit there and hope it won't last for long. That security is great. But thats all for today. Just a little observation and something to think about.
It's boring but it's my life.
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Its sad that we'll never get the past back. sitting as a kid on my living room floor, hearing the radio, Sting, The Cranberries, Natalie Merchant, Hootie and the Blowfish. I hear those songs now and it brings back the sweetest feeling ever. I love that feeling. And I'm always afraid if i listen to those songs too much, i will eventually loose that feeling and in-turn, make it even more difficult to access my wonderful memories.
Memories of simpleness. Of bliss, no matter what. Is it fiction? As children are we just naturally happy in the end? Is the anger or other feelings we feel as kids just a facade or an imitation of our parents? are we really perfect and content until we grow up? Are all these "problems" of ours that surface during the teenage years just us "playing" ourselves as we've learned to be by imitating our parents? are we doing the best to act like ourselves or are we really trying to be happy?
If that is true, where does this angst originate from? our parents? but what if they modeled themselves after their parents? so maybe it all started with our grandparents...but that's based on nothing because back in the early 1900's people still had personal problems with depression, love, relationships, loneliness..i mean, read Shakespeare, Socrates, the Bible even, those feelings have been around as long as man has. I don't have to tell you that. so where does happiness come from? where does manic depression come from?
Going back to my previous point, I do think that children are mostly pure and innocent..but right when they are born parents immediately are the role model that babies have to take after to survive. We pick up on our parent's habits and ways of life, and ways of communicating. I think it is just much easier to be happy and content when you are a kid because ignorance simply is bliss.
I also believe that looking back now (i am 21) we are conscious of life passing by and conscious of ourselves and our self-critiquing is at an all-time high during the teenage years. after going through all that, childhood is going to seem like the best time ever. Just think in 10 years from now, the present will probably look pretty good (if you are my age). I've heard that people say their 20's and high school days are the best of their life. And i wonder what they think of their childhood. I never hear people older than me talking about it. Maybe it's easier to forget your childhood because memories aren't thought about as much as a kid, you weren't as conscious of life going by. and maybe when you don't consider yourself young anymore, that's when a person thinks they have seen it all. when the novelty of life wears off perhaps? Does it wear off for all people? Does it wear off for people ever?
Some of this stuff doesn't really matter right now. It's better to live instead of analyze it all while it's passing by in my opinion. But it sure is good to hear those melodies that bring back the best, sweetest memories of my childhood. I can even feel certain songs from high school really starting to mean a lot to me. I began to wonder if songs I'm listening to right now would just feel beautiful in ten years. So i make mix cds according to what I'm listening to or what is new and popular that month...it's an audio scrapbook of memories. It's boring but it's my life.
Memories of simpleness. Of bliss, no matter what. Is it fiction? As children are we just naturally happy in the end? Is the anger or other feelings we feel as kids just a facade or an imitation of our parents? are we really perfect and content until we grow up? Are all these "problems" of ours that surface during the teenage years just us "playing" ourselves as we've learned to be by imitating our parents? are we doing the best to act like ourselves or are we really trying to be happy?
If that is true, where does this angst originate from? our parents? but what if they modeled themselves after their parents? so maybe it all started with our grandparents...but that's based on nothing because back in the early 1900's people still had personal problems with depression, love, relationships, loneliness..i mean, read Shakespeare, Socrates, the Bible even, those feelings have been around as long as man has. I don't have to tell you that. so where does happiness come from? where does manic depression come from?
Going back to my previous point, I do think that children are mostly pure and innocent..but right when they are born parents immediately are the role model that babies have to take after to survive. We pick up on our parent's habits and ways of life, and ways of communicating. I think it is just much easier to be happy and content when you are a kid because ignorance simply is bliss.
I also believe that looking back now (i am 21) we are conscious of life passing by and conscious of ourselves and our self-critiquing is at an all-time high during the teenage years. after going through all that, childhood is going to seem like the best time ever. Just think in 10 years from now, the present will probably look pretty good (if you are my age). I've heard that people say their 20's and high school days are the best of their life. And i wonder what they think of their childhood. I never hear people older than me talking about it. Maybe it's easier to forget your childhood because memories aren't thought about as much as a kid, you weren't as conscious of life going by. and maybe when you don't consider yourself young anymore, that's when a person thinks they have seen it all. when the novelty of life wears off perhaps? Does it wear off for all people? Does it wear off for people ever?
Some of this stuff doesn't really matter right now. It's better to live instead of analyze it all while it's passing by in my opinion. But it sure is good to hear those melodies that bring back the best, sweetest memories of my childhood. I can even feel certain songs from high school really starting to mean a lot to me. I began to wonder if songs I'm listening to right now would just feel beautiful in ten years. So i make mix cds according to what I'm listening to or what is new and popular that month...it's an audio scrapbook of memories. It's boring but it's my life.
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